A 'Problem' shared......

This weeks Blog is a little different for me.  I’ve had an interesting few weeks, and a few things have come up for me, that initially I didn’t want to share.  But keeping to my promise around speaking my truth, I believe it’s important to share this with you all.  My intention with this blog is to help the readers understand that holding back, bottling things up, and not asking for help will only block you from breaking through the bullshit.

As a Coach, I try my best to encourage everyone to be honest, real, and speak their truth.  It’s important that we all do this, but so many times we don’t.  We worry what the other people will think of us, if we speak up. 

Just because I’m a Life Coach and Mentor, it doesn’t make me immune from having those feelings of fear, worry, anger, upset & self-doubt.  The brain is hard wired in to believing that if we tell someone how we are feeling, we will be judged, so we don’t.  What we do instead is supress it, bury it and try to ignore it.  Most of us have had years of conditioning, and let’s face it, sometimes old habits can die hard.

Here’s the thing, let it out!!  Share your thoughts with someone.  It doesn’t need to be to anyone, but pick up the phone, and reach out to a friend, or someone you’re connected with that you know won’t judge you.  There are so many people that you can reach out to.  It doesn’t need to be that something significant is going on for you, it could be something small, a worry, or concern that’s brewing.  The thing is, once you let it out, it’s out. You can deal with it, and the worry dissolves.  If you suppress it, you’re only covering the ‘problem’ with a plaster.  Sooner or later the plaster starts to peel off, and the problem reappears again, but this time it feels worse that it did before.

The fact is, if you can deal with it by asking for help or advice, then was it really a problem in the first place? Or is this just another story that you have created in your head? It’s only a problem if you allow it to become one.

There are times when we have thoughts of things that have happened in our past or present that we just can’t seem to shake off.  It could be a feeling of worry or guilt around something that we may have done, and this can be testing for the mind. We try our best to ignore it, but it appears in our subconscious. ‘If only I could lose this feeling of worry, guilt, anxiety?’  ‘But how do I do it?  Where do I even begin?’

You begin my allowing yourself to feel it, recognise what’s happening to you, and what the feeling is.  Label it, so if it’s fear, anxiety or stress, label it. Then, slow down, hit the pause button, and ask for help.  This past 2 weeks, I have been so busy building my Business.  It often felt that I didn’t have enough time to do all the things I wanted to do, and because I didn’t really allow myself to slow down, I became a little overwhelmed.  I started to feel a rundown and tired. 

Yes, I was having the most incredible sessions with my clients, and making breakthroughs, but I wasn’t really showing up for the things that were really important to me.  I was too busy jumping from 1 thing to the next, without hitting the pause button, and really feeling in to what was going on.  From this, I started to have unnecessary worry.  I was beginning to beat myself up, create stories about ‘how I wasn’t spending enough quality time with Daryl and the kids’ I didn’t feel organised, I was a busy fool, yet I couldn’t seem to get off the hamster wheel. 

I checked in with myself on Wednesday, and instead of doing my usual morning routine, I meditated for almost an hour, I also journaled, but when that didn’t work, I reached out to my Business Coach.  I shared with her what was going on for me, and through speaking it over, I realised that I knew exactly what was going on.  I already held all the answers and speaking it over was just what I needed.  Later that day, I also spoke to a friend, who is also going through significant change in her business too. What was interesting, was that she was going through the exact same as me.  You see, we are all the same, with the same worries and fears, they just show up at different times for people, but we all get them.

When something matters to you in your life, and I mean really matters, it can become overwhelming.  Reaching out, and opening to someone you know, like, and trust is a great way to release the unnecessary worry, and stress.

The moment I called out my ‘fears’ to someone else, I realised that I had all the answers.  I didn’t need to keep it in.  I knew what I needed to do.  I just needed to hit the pause button and unpack all the crap.  Off load the stories that I was telling myself. Reaching out and asking for help or advice with what you feel is a problem, is not weak, it’s smart.  As it turned out, I didn’t have a problem after all.  The stories I started creating in my head were just that…. STORIES, and there was no truth in them whatsoever, it was my ego going in to overdrive.  Had I not faced in to my ego, and shared my fears with another, it could have manifested into unnecessary stress.

I want you guys to know that, having worries and fears are completely normal, but recognising them and catching them early is important.  It doesn’t need to be dramatic, you are simply clearing out the things that do not serve you to make space for all the incredible things that you can become.

Love & Gratitude,

 

Jill x