Judgement of others......

When you’re stuck in judgment, you’re stuck in negativity, fear and separation.

The goal is to feel great every day, but how do we do it? Especially when we are triggered.

Are we justified in our judgment of others? The thing is, justified or not, when we are judging, we only feel good for a short time. Judgement can consume us and stop us seeing the situation for what it is.  Judgment is fear.

Early in 2018 I embarked on my journey of personal development. I connected more with spirituality.  This was incredibly deep, powerful and life changing.  As I reflect on that period in life, I felt so connected to soul. I honoured old wounds, and healed.  It wasn’t always plane sailing, as I had to meet some huge fears head on.  I was so deeply connected to my guide and trusted that I was being led.

I believe through healing myself, and my past wounds I was quickly able to make space for everything that I wanted to bring into my life.

I believe that the best gift we can receive is inner peace.  I have met so many people who have an abundance of financial wealth, but feel so disconnected, fearful, and overwhelmed.

So why do we judge others?  We all judge right? Well most of us do, or have done in the past.  Without even realising we are judging, we do it. 

‘Why is he/she acting that way?  I would never do that’

‘She/he is really getting on my nerves; they are so full of themselves’

‘She/he is such a dick head.  What is up with them?’

The past few weeks I have been triggered by a few things, and dare I say it ‘YES I JUDGED’ Oh boy, have I judged others.  Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t overly gone out my way to purposely judge, but I’ve done it.

The past month, I have not given myself nearly enough self-care.  I could sit here and say ‘I’ve been too busy; I didn’t have time.  Something came up, I was too tired, I didn’t feel like I needed it.  The truth is, it’s all excuses.  Here’s the thing, in not doing it, I lost my way a little. 

I need to practice self-care, including meditation and intention session every day.  My old story and old ego still lives within me.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not sitting here saying I turned in to a bitch, but I definitely let the ego take over at points. 

The Universe and our guides (our higher self) is always with us, it sends us signs that we can either ignore or connect with. 

I have been triggered on several occasions, where I got defensive and judged.  I would justify my judgment of others, but trying to convince myself or someone else my rationale for behaving the way I did, like I knew best? Why is it that we feel the need to convince others that our actions are justified?  ‘I’m saying this because they did this’ or ‘He/she is acting this way, so I’m justified in my actions’

But why do we do that?

I’ve heard that ‘Happy people don’t judge’ If I’m being completely honest, I believe this to be true.

 When we are judging, or being judged by others, we need to really ask ourselves the question ‘Is this person happy?’ or ‘Am I happy’?  Your ego will jump in again, and say ‘YES, of course you are, it’s not you, it’s them.  You are fine, it’s all them’ You continue to judge, all the while spiralling into a place of consuming negativity.

Ring any bells?

I know when I have judged, and really get honest with myself, there is a fear attached to the act. Happy people don’t judge?! I must admit, when or if I judge, I’m not happy. Think about this.. When you feel amazing, you are less likely to let anything bother you, and if it does, you’re over it in a millisecond.

Next time you find yourself judging, I want you to ask yourself the following ‘What am I scared of here?’  Get honest with yourself.  Take yourself in to a quiet space, and if you can, sit with the question.  Meditate if you can.  Grab a pen, journal, and get honest about why you are judging that person.  What is it about them that scares you?

I’ve heard that when you are judging, you are holding a mirror up to yourself?  Sometimes I believe this to be true, but other times, I’m not quite sure.  I have judged on many occasions.  I find myself judging people who have done some serious wrongdoing for sure. I can honestly say that I would never act the way they have, but what is it that makes a person behave the way they do?  What has happened to them in their life that made them show up and act in the such a shit way?  What has been missing or lost from their life? We might never agree with their actions, but letting go of any attachment, helps us see the person in their innocence.

Next time you judge, try catching yourself, and choosing again.  Try to get clear around what it is about that person’s actions that are triggering you?  Is it worth your judgment?  Is there work you need to do on yourself to ensure their actions don’t have power over you?  Once you get honest with yourself, do your own inner work, you’ll find that the other person maybe just like you.

It’s not always easy, but try seeing them in their innocence, and send them love rather than judging.

 Love always,

 Jill x