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'The only way out, is in'

Freedom is nothing outside of you. No one, and nothing outside of you can give you the freedom that you are searching for.

As long as you are judging yourself, hiding parts of yourself away, and not accepting ALL OF YOU, including guilt, shame, fear and anger then you will never feel free.

It’s interesting, as I have never felt more free than I do right now, but this has been a long journey for me.  

I feel so connected to my soul, and these past few weeks, I can drop in and connect in seconds, and it feels so good.  I don't think I have ever felt this deeply connected and trusting of myself, than I do right now.

I realise that when I have behaved out of integrity, and I felt embarrassed, or shameful, this was a reaction to not feeling safe. I didn’t feel free. I felt trapped, and scared, and vulnerable, so I showed up in ways that were dark, and sometimes out of integrity. But underneath it all was fear, feeling trapped and stuck.  Not knowing that the freedom I was searching for was within me, but I couldn’t connect to it. 

We are told that love is unconditional, but we were taught something very different. So often it was not, and is is not modeled to us. If we are brought up in a specifc religion, and or by caregivers who instill opinions, beliefs and judgements of what good, and bad looks like, means that often we learn that love is in fact conditional, and when we have stepped 'out of line' or gone against the rules, then we immediately feel shame, and fear being unloved. And even when we are shown love, we struggle to receive it, because we don't feel worthy to receive love if we haven't played by the 'rules'

We hide our shame, and with shame comes fear, dark, guilt, resentment and sometimes anger.

My journey to Bali, moving through grief, and the challenges along with my plant medicine journey has cracked me wide open.

I realise that shame doesn’t want to be ignored, pushed away, and seen as dark. It wants to be heard, received, and loved unconditionally. To be integrated and alchemised.  It wants forgiveness, and to be loved no matter what.

To feel free, we must accept, forgive and love shame. And only when we look at theses parts no longer with shame, then we will feel truly free and accepting of our dark.  Your dark is not seperate from you, it is you, therefore should be fully accepted, and transended (if required)

Love your dark, as there is so much wisdom in there.  It teaches you about fear, and how unsafe and scared you can feel, which then drives the decisions you make in life.  When I am scared, it's because I don’t feel free, so I turn to dark, and hide away.  When we are in the dark, we feel like we can't see. It feels scary, unsafe, vulnerable. Yet, if you think about it….

When you feel fear, what do you need?

When you feel angry, what do you need?

When you feel shame, what do you need?

For me, when I feel fear, I want to feel safe and loved,

When I feel angry, I want to feel heard, and loved in spite of my anger.

When I feel shame, I want to share my truth, and still be loved and accepted.

You see, underneath all of our shadows is part of us that needs unconditional love. Freedom requires you to give this to yourself, and understanding that shame cannot survive when we forgive and love.

But who is really showing and embracing their light and the dark? This requires a self acceptance of both.

It’s the same with the light. It can feel just as much of a struggle to fully accept and step in to your light.

Often, we don’t fully step in to our light because we are so scared of being seen.  If we go to light, and shine so bright, then we may attract dark, including jealousy, and resentment from others, but in us fully accepting and loving our dark then no one can take away our light. Because to take away our light, we would need to let dark in, and we can only let darkness from others in, when we first must not be accepting of our own dark. When you shine your light, it is an invitation to others to work on their own light and dark.

Nothing can really penetrate our light, because this would mean we are not accepting of our wholeness.  If we are in full acceptance and love of our light and dark, and have alchemised and forgiven, then nothing can really take away our freedom.  

The key to freedom, is nothing outside of us, it is the magic that happens when we fully accept, forgive, love, and alchemise all of our dark. 

I realise whilst this makes sense, it is not easy to do, and requires patience, and some guidance.

As part of my Empowered Woman Program, there is a module & lesson around Shadow & Shame. In this lesson, not only will you learn how to connect with your own shadow, you will embody and alchemise the work in real time, under my coaching and guidance.

At the moment I am making some changes to the current Empowered Woman curriculum, where I will be adding more lessons, and upgrading the existing ones.

I will be changing the length of the programme too, which is likely to be over 4-5 months & with an in person event at the end.

This feels really good.

This course is my signature course, and is already full of incredible testimonials


I can’t wait to revamp it, and add even more valuable content over the coming weeks.

I’m looking to “re-launch” this in February, so if you’d like to get on my waiting list, and be notified when the official date is released then please send me an enquiry through my contact form below or send me an email with the title 'EMPOWERED' to

Love Jill

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